The Dishes

Everyone wants to do ayahuasca, but no one wants to do the dishes.  

When that jackass from high school says he’s living the dream, shouldn’t he be honest and just admit he can’t get hard without Viagra?

If you never assume importance, you never lose it. That’s what Lao Tzu said, anyway.

Last night, a friend mentioned there was a person at Pride whose double D tits were covered in thick chest hair. Whoa! I said. Then, Eh, no biggie.

You know there’s someone out there, he said, lighting his cigarette with a baby blue lighter, who can’t wait to bury their face in those hairy titties.

The problem is, I told a different friend, is that everyone wants to bury their face in some big hairy titties, but no one wants to do the dishes.

Off the subject, she said, staring out the window, but sometimes I imagine my friends as babies, and then I imagine what it’s like to hold them.