In His Image

“If God made you a male, that wasn’t a mistake, and if God made you a female, that wasn’t a mistake, and people who argue against this are insulting the perfect Creator,” said the balayage blonde who uses Invisalign to straighten her teeth, K-tips to add volume to her hair, stilettos to lengthen her calves, Ambien to help her sleep, contacts to correct her vision, filler to plump her lips, Botox to smooth her face, and IVF to conceive her now 19 year old son who once wore a patch to align the strabismic eye he does not regularly gouge after lusting after hot bitches in the dining hall.